there's no crying in baseball..

I say this a lot to Brooks when he's crying.  We have hit a span of crying pretty much 30-60 minutes after every bottle, sometimes it's actually screaming.  I feel terrible, and we are trying to figure out how to make it better.  All a guessing game, and a painful one for everyone involved, especially him.

I know that 5 years from now I'll wonder how we spent our days, so I am going to type out our "loose" schedule of Momma and Brooks' time home together!  If only I could freeze time a bit, that is, when we figure out the screaming stuff.

6:00-7:00 AM Brooks usually has his first bottle around this time, I prefer the 7:00 hour, and I think his day is better if he sleeps this late.  I think my day is better if he sleeps this late.  After he takes his first breakfast, we lay in bed and cuddle and talk and watch the morning news.  Up until a week or two ago, we rarely ever got cranky, and we could cuddle until he fell asleep usually again around 8:30.

8:30-10:00 Brooks cat naps and this is when I either:
A.  Get productive, put on my work out gear and put him in the bouncy while I walk on the treadmill
B.  Slowly sip my coffee and watch some more TV while lounging in bed

10:00-11:15 Bottle time again or his second breakfast, and we try to have our play time or as I tell Bryan our "academics and physical education"   We usually read some books, I sing songs and make kissie noises and end with some tummy time and play mat.  He's doing great tracking his toys left and right and up and down.  He will coo and goo a bit as well!

11:30-1:30 He usually takes a nap, some days he wakes up a lot, and some days he sleeps hard.  We usually nap in the swing or in his crib for this one

1:30 Bottle time again, and I usually try to keep him awake again for awhile, but somedays we fall right back to sleep, and other days we can stay awake.  There are days when I swear his eyes have springs in them and he's awake constantly, and then there are days were he is so drowsy and sleeps tons.

4:30 Bottle time again, and we try and stay awake until Daddy gets home from work, this is the time of day I am usually watching the clock tick because I'm ready for Bryan to get home!  If Bryan's running late I usually put him in the swing and just let him chill.  He loves to be wide awake and get into his "baby trance" in there.  One day, I stopped him quickly and took him out and he stuck out his bottom lip and pouted and then cried.  It was pitiful.  I of course immediately put him back in, apparently we weren't ready to get out!!

5:30-7:30 usually a few little cat naps and time being passed back and forth between Bryan and I while we eat dinner and say "look how cute he is" or "look how sweet he is" to each other a million times...

7:30 we have another bottle...and then usually head to the bath!  he loves hanging in his bath tub and really likes it now that we're putting him down in there more, not in the sling that went over the top of it.  he's really cute in the bath!

7:30-9:00 more snuggling and napping

9:00 we have a little snack bottle, he usually only takes a couple of ounces, we rock, say our prayers, and go to bed.

We are down to just one feeding a night, and have been for a couple of weeks.  So we are going 4, 5, 6, and occasionally 7 hours between eating.  It all depends.  Last night was the first night he slept from 9:00pm to 5:00am, and it was great!  The only problem was I was awake at 11:00, 12:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, checking on him, and just waiting for him to wake up!  I am of course hopeful for tonight, but I am realizing that you know nothing of how things will really go down when there is a baby involved!!

We're excited about snow...

well, not really.  

i was pushing my luck with these pics right at nap time.

 "mom, just put the camera away, and rock me to sleep"

it's funny how different he looks with a hat and sleepy vs no hat and awake, this was taken the same day.

I am loving being snuggled in at home with this little fella.  

One month!

Little fella hit the one month mark this week!  Crazy how it seems like we have always had him and also like it has flown by.  We had several firsts this week...

We went on a trip to the farm to see Ma, just the two of us, and we did pretty well!  I still can't lift him and the car seat, so having to get him in and out of his seat in the car is a little more trouble just because I have to disturb him and then wrap him up and run.  However, monday was 60 degrees, so it was much easier!

Bryan and I had dinner out with our friend Matt friday night at Louie's...and we both couldn't get the check fast enough to get back home to our boy.

We've gone from going out to dinner on the weekend to staying home and watching movies while we cuddle little fella.  We have watched "The Help" the past two Saturday nights, it pretty much doesn't get any more exciting than that.

trip to the farm

Ma sat and held you during our entire visit...for almost an hour and a half..you made your little whimper noises and slept pretty much the whole visit.

We laid on the floor play mat.  He didn't care about the mat or the toys, but he hung out down there anyway!

We attempted to take some naps in our crib, our ultimate goal is for him to sleep there some day (ha!), so I thought getting to know it exists might be a good idea.

we are trying to make all the PT's (and OT's for that matter...) in our life proud by doing our tummy time several times a day.  he lifted his head up pretty well this week, and even managed to get it from one side to the other.  he doesn't cry during tummy time, but he does grunt and get a smidge fussy if i push it too long.

We also had our first official bath and he liked it!  

It took forever for our little belly button to be ready for a bath.  

 diaper and pajama duty!  

he's a big help when i put all the laundry on the bed to fold and put away...

A few things I've learned the past month:
1.  Baby's rock your world...
2.  Nothing prepares you for having one, even when you think you're ready :)
3.  We talk a lot about poops and pees and even celebrate them!
4.  Bryan and I have made a good team and probably learned more about our relationship this month than the past 3 years...
5.  waking up to little eyes and sweet little sounds is pretty much the best
6.  I'm still myself, but the focus of my day to day activities has completely shifted, a good shift, but it looks nothing like it did 2 months ago.  it's the new normal...
7.  people who bring meals to new parents are heaven sent...because as bryan says "you don't have time do anything with a baby"
8.  when i think about all the cleaning, life, etc I need to tackle, I keep thinking in the phrase from the youtube video "ain't nobody got time for that!"

The stats:
You are downing 3-4 ounce bottles around every 3 hours or so during the day, you have gone 4-5 hours at night and last night was a big night because you ate at 8:30pm, 2:30am, and then 6:30am...it was beautiful!  I am so, so, so thankful.  You are sleeping in a rock and sleeper by the bed, and sleep best if swaddled really well so you don't wake yourself up. You soothe really easily most of the time, and like your pacifier.  You will only use the one that we got at the hospital, and not really a big fan of any other kind.  You are really laid back and content most of the time just looking around, but if you do fuss stop pretty quickly as soon as we pick you up.

borrowed time...

i think daily about the sweet children i know around the world in orphanage cribs.  since having brooks, nightly, as i am holding him and making sure his tummy is full, his blankets are just right, the temperature is good, and he's comfortable and cozy, i see their faces, and think of all they have gone with out.  man, it makes my heart so sad...it always has, but definitely makes it ache in a new way now, in a momma way.  it's almost too much to take, tears fall quicker and last longer now.

so rather than feel like i am doing nothing, i will continue to pray and post again, and again about any of the kids i can.

here's the story for you....and i am pretty sure that every one who actually reads by blog already knows about this little guy, but in case some one else wanders by who doesn't..i had to share.  again.

this little boy was one of the first children i held in my arms on my first TEAMWorks trip to ukraine in 2010.  since then, we have watched him grow and change, and become stronger, take steps in a walker, sit contentedly in a chair, reach for toys, and make sounds.  i leaned over his chair and played patty-cake with him while i was there this summer, i held his hands and talked sweetly to him.  the clock has ticked towards that 5th birthday when his time in his baby orphanage would be up...i can't stand that we had to feel dread towards a little one's birthday.  by the grace of God, he has been given 6 more months in his orphanage.  6 more months for his family to find him, please join me in praying that a family will commit to bringing him home.  he's already on borrowed time, and I am SO thankful for God's protection over him.  he's prayed for and loved by many of us here and we are thankful God answered our prayers by protecting him from a move to an institution for another 6 months.

as abby says here, it really is a gift.  

Pray that God will find him a family and continue to protect this sweet little guy.

2 weeks!

(I haven't quite made it to ordering a baby book, so I'm typing all this out so I can remember it and record it later...)

We have made it to just over the 2 week mark, and little fella is doing really great.  He is such a good baby, and we are so, so, so thankful.  He cries if we aren't fast enough with the bottle, or if he stays awake too long and fights sleep a bit.  I have become a pretty good swaddler, and swaddle him up nice and snug at night, and he loves it and I love it because he sleeps longer.  We have ranged from waking up every 3 hours to going around 4 hours a few times between bottles.  Once I am upright at night, and feeding him I'm good, it's just the initial putting my feet onto the floor part that is hard.  It's definitely getting easier as I am feeling better, and getting to know our little man better.

looking around in the morning....

Our first week at home, I was definitely Captain Crazy, and turned into the "fretter" and "crier" here at our house.  We joked before baby B got here that Bryan would be the worrier, and I'd be the calm one.  Well, I am the one who felt like we were starving him the first week, then I was worried we were feeding him too much, I was worried about his teaspoon of spit up, how he latched onto the bottle, etc...  You name it, and I probably said "Oh, I hope (insert, something baby related here) is OK?!?"  We started with about an ounce in his bottle, and now at week 2, he is up to 3 ounces!  Bryan's line is "Amy, he's fine.."  Can I blame the hormones?

smiling after eating and snuggling 

I call him "Button" and bryan calls him a variety of things like "pumpkin, sugar, etc." and every now and then I call him by his actual name. :) He soaked his daddy last night for the first time, Bryan was holding him and then all the sudden his shirt was completely wet.  I had JUST handed him over to Bryan, so that was great timing on my part.

He's definitely a noisy baby, and makes all these sweet little whimpers and squeaks in his sleep.  He's jumpy to loud sounds and startles himself.  He's sleeping in a "rock and sleeper" next to the bed, and after the first week, I've actually dimmed the night light off and slept pretty well when he has.  We tried a bassinet, but he didn't do great in it, and I wasn't crazy about having him flat on his back while I was asleep, so the incline with the rock and sleeper has made me feel better.  I am letting him stretch out flat some during the day, along with some tummy time, and today we started reading books together.  He also, loves to get his arms loose from the blankets when he's not swaddled snuggly and throw them up by his face and head.  Every time you look over, he's snuck a hand out if possible and it's the first thing he does when I un-swaddle him at night.

picture that my sweet and talented friend Blanca took of button

When we went to his 1 week doctor's appointment and he was down from 8 lb, 3 oz, to 7 lbs, 5 oz, and I was stressing out!  However we went back at 2 weeks and he was in the upper 8 lbs range, so that made me feel much better, and our pediatrician's exact words were "don't worry another minute about his eating, he'll be fine..."  I get it people, momma needs to chill.  :)

i love his head of hair, and pet his head and forehead about a million times a day...

Bryan and I went out to eat at Mojito's Saturday night while Mamaw came over and watched him.  They did great, and we enjoyed some mexican food and a few hours out in this freezing cold weather.

i love baby feet...

Bryan is in charge of supplies, making bottles, and changing him.  He's better at diapers and changing his clothes than I am.  Much more efficient.  Bryan had never changed a diaper until he was born, so I think his new skills are very impressive!  He really is the best daddy, I can't say enough good things about him.  Once again, so thankful.

It's amazing how God blesses us with more than we knew to even ask for.  And that is definitely the case with my little family.

Baby B

Some pictures from our first 6 days with our new little button! 

Day 1

Proud Daddy!

Mamaw finally got her hands on him!

Day 2
Snuggle time with momma

being pretty awake!

Uncle Joe and little man

 Hadleigh June and Baby B

Day 3- Going home day!

Day 4!  

Day 5

 Grandad and Kay came to visit and hold you finally

 Day 6

We are SO SO SO thankful for a healthy little boy!  He's more than we could have imagined, and we are thanking God for him every day!  

And the word became flesh and dwelt among us...

Merry, Merry Christmas!!!

i am excited about being home for the next several days and enjoying Christmas at my house.  we managed to decorate for Christmas around here, and attempt to get ready for a baby.

 cozy by the tree

december has been a great month, and has gone by slowly.  it's going slowly because we are waiting on a baby, and i am fine with that.  we are trying to enjoy it before our days of parenting begin.  we have stayed busy, and at the same time, found some great time for relaxing in between.

dining room is ready for Christmas!

during this month of december, i committed to reading through the book of John, and I made it!  I told my friend matt, that issued the challenge, that I was quietly committing in case I was interrupted by having a baby.  But I finished!  Thankful to have the accountability this provided to keep me on track.  I wish it didn't take that, but i'm thankful that i got it done, and i did my reading in the morning, while either walking on the treadmill or after waking up.  it was a great start to the day.

some verses i loved from John...

"And the word became flesh and dwelt among us..." John 1:14
(so thankful for this, and what Christmas is really all about...)

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life..."  John 3:16
(probably one of the most memorized verses in the bible, and i am thankful that God sent His Son to die for my sins, and that salvation is available to all...)

"I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."  John 8:12

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. " John 13:34
(so thankful for the reminder to love others, even those that are tougher to love...)

Bryan ordered baby B a stocking, it was a fun surprise, and it's on the mantle, just in case he decides to come before Christmas!

and this little miss is with her momma and God willing will be traveling home around Christmas Day!  Please pray for Abby, Eva Claire and Daniel as they complete all the final things to get on that airplane home!  praying peace and safety over them as they make their journey to arkansas!  eva, your "aunt amy" can not wait to snuggle you, when you're ready! :)

Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our Savior, i have so much to be thankful for this Christmas season!