baby b report!

i'm a workin' momma these days.  i have been back to work since the last week of march and we're getting more into a rhythm.  i won't say leaving him is easier, but usually, once i am with my kids at work, i am ok.  i do have mornings that i still cry when i leave him, or who ever is watching him will send me a video of him laughing during the day, and i'll feel like someone stabbed me in the heart, because he's laughing, and I. am. missing. it.        stinks.

'cause, if possible, i'd try not to miss a moment of this...

i literally cried pretty much off and on the entire week before i went back, and then the saturday night before returning to work, i had to get out of bed, because i was already crying, thinking of monday morning!

so many people prayed for us as i went back to work and we appreciated it.  and we survived!  and he's done well.  carmen put it best, when he's away from me, it's like having a piece of me out in the world with out me, and that's just wrong.

on another note, i know people have to do it every day, and some work much longer hours than i do...so i am thankful, for many things regarding work, my kids at work, and having a job i LOVE, but all of that was just to say...it was TOUGH, and continues to be tough somedays.  loving my job and seeing my kids at work that i had missed has been so fun, and it definitely makes leaving my little man MUCH easier.  another good thing is, i know being away from each other, is just good...for both of us.  i probably appreciate my time more, and he needs to see the face of someone else occasionally.  ;)

i also have cut back a bit at work, i am working 4 days a week now, rather than 5.  i am home with little guy on wednesdays, and it makes my heart happy.  a co-worker told me i would never look back on brooks being a baby and think "I should have worked more..."  Those words have stuck with me, and so this is my season to just be home more, and less involved in other things.  i feel very protective of my free time when i am not at work.  bryan and i have always been goers, and doers, and we of course will still do some things, especially things that are really important to us (like TEAMWorks and Ukraine stuff) but i am making it a point to cut back in other places.  i know this baby time is precious, and will fly by...i am trying to soak it in as much as possible and accept the fact i can't do it all.  our house will be dustier, phone calls and texts may go unreturned, i might only work out a couple of times a week, and we may miss out on other things.  and again, i am fine with that.

enjoying a wednesday trip to the square

i'd like to say that i had a picture from my first morning back to work, but there are no pictures, i could barely function to get out the door.  we have been so completely thankful that we have family to keep him.  Bryan's mom, my aunts, and my mom are going to help us keep him from going to daycare at least through summer, and that definitely makes things much easier.  i never have any doubt they are loving on him as much as possible!

a little late, but here is the 3 month report::

we have a new routine, which is fun...because i know it will soon change.

brooks is now sleeping from about 8:30pm to 7:00am...this does vary a bit, but over all pretty consistent.

7:00-bottle, getting dressed and playing
8:30-9:30 - cat naps
10:00 bottle, playing, reading and more fun
11:30-12:30 nap
1:00 bottle, and more playing
2:30-4:00 napping, off and on
4:00 bottle
5:30-6:00 a little power nap
7:00 bottle and bath/pajama time
8:30 a little bottle and bed time!

bryan usually gets him out of bed in the morning, sometimes we have to wake him up around 7:00, other times he's up and ready to roll!  it's good to be a baby!

he is eating around 5 ounces per bottle now.  sometimes a little less, depends on his mood.

we rock him to sleep in the evenings and it's such a sweet time!  no cell phones, no tv, just a nice quiet room and a snuggly baby!  i feed him and then rock him first, and then once he's asleep bryan comes in and rocks him for a bit and we tuck him in together.  it's good to be the only baby! :)

brooks is definitely not into long naps these days, and we are lucky to get him down for a full hour during the day, he usually wakes up after 30-45 minutes.  we're going to work on that.  i think a two longer naps would make him a happier camper in the evenings.  he will go back to sleep for a bit longer if you talk him into it....with cuddling, rocking, pacifier...

we love to reach up, grab our pacifier, and just cruise around holding on to it

we had his "2 month" check-up when he was actually 3 months old.  we got our first shots and we saw the doctor and got a great report!  we are so thankful for a healthy little fella.  he weighed in at a little over 14 lbs, putting him in the 75th percentile for weight, 50th percentile for height, and he's got a big noggin, coming in at the 90th percentile mark!  i knew his head was big, when i was trying to put some of his hats we had as a newborn on his head...not fitting!  he napped while we talked to Doctor Swindle, and then when he examined him, he was just so happy.  the doctor picked him up and held him a bit while we talked and he just sat in his arms and smiled.  it was soooo cute, i wish i would have taken a picture of him with him.

 brooksie-bear, you are doing all sorts of fun things now:
-laughing, especially when daddy changes your clothes and tugs on your sleeves
-watching us walk all around the room, and sometimes really twisting your head all around to make sure we don't get out of sight
-rolling from your stomach to your back
-enjoying sitting in the bumbo some, your heads still a bit wobbly
-laying on your back, raising your legs in the air and letting them fall to the side, i'm sure this will turn into some great rolling skills
-sticking out that bottom lip and just screaming when people you aren't ready for get in your face
-pushing with your legs, and trying hard to jump out of our arms
-holding our hands/fingers
-grabbing my shirt sleeve while i'm changing your diaper and keeping a hold while i work
-you LOVE bath time, and kicking your legs and looking at yourself in the mirror, but like clock work, as soon as we take you out and wrap you in the towel (the towel, i might add that your dad warms for you) you wail.  we get it, you don't like to get out of the bath.
-holding toys if we put them by your hand
-vocalizing lots of vowel sounds, i have heard some coo's and goo's and even some "buh" sounds
-oh, and most importantly, you are in love with your hands, eating them, putting them in your mouth, and even gagging yourself because you get them so far in there.

and that's a wrap folks...

there's no crying in baseball..

I say this a lot to Brooks when he's crying.  We have hit a span of crying pretty much 30-60 minutes after every bottle, sometimes it's actually screaming.  I feel terrible, and we are trying to figure out how to make it better.  All a guessing game, and a painful one for everyone involved, especially him.

I know that 5 years from now I'll wonder how we spent our days, so I am going to type out our "loose" schedule of Momma and Brooks' time home together!  If only I could freeze time a bit, that is, when we figure out the screaming stuff.

6:00-7:00 AM Brooks usually has his first bottle around this time, I prefer the 7:00 hour, and I think his day is better if he sleeps this late.  I think my day is better if he sleeps this late.  After he takes his first breakfast, we lay in bed and cuddle and talk and watch the morning news.  Up until a week or two ago, we rarely ever got cranky, and we could cuddle until he fell asleep usually again around 8:30.

8:30-10:00 Brooks cat naps and this is when I either:
A.  Get productive, put on my work out gear and put him in the bouncy while I walk on the treadmill
B.  Slowly sip my coffee and watch some more TV while lounging in bed

10:00-11:15 Bottle time again or his second breakfast, and we try to have our play time or as I tell Bryan our "academics and physical education"   We usually read some books, I sing songs and make kissie noises and end with some tummy time and play mat.  He's doing great tracking his toys left and right and up and down.  He will coo and goo a bit as well!

11:30-1:30 He usually takes a nap, some days he wakes up a lot, and some days he sleeps hard.  We usually nap in the swing or in his crib for this one

1:30 Bottle time again, and I usually try to keep him awake again for awhile, but somedays we fall right back to sleep, and other days we can stay awake.  There are days when I swear his eyes have springs in them and he's awake constantly, and then there are days were he is so drowsy and sleeps tons.

4:30 Bottle time again, and we try and stay awake until Daddy gets home from work, this is the time of day I am usually watching the clock tick because I'm ready for Bryan to get home!  If Bryan's running late I usually put him in the swing and just let him chill.  He loves to be wide awake and get into his "baby trance" in there.  One day, I stopped him quickly and took him out and he stuck out his bottom lip and pouted and then cried.  It was pitiful.  I of course immediately put him back in, apparently we weren't ready to get out!!

5:30-7:30 usually a few little cat naps and time being passed back and forth between Bryan and I while we eat dinner and say "look how cute he is" or "look how sweet he is" to each other a million times...

7:30 we have another bottle...and then usually head to the bath!  he loves hanging in his bath tub and really likes it now that we're putting him down in there more, not in the sling that went over the top of it.  he's really cute in the bath!

7:30-9:00 more snuggling and napping

9:00 we have a little snack bottle, he usually only takes a couple of ounces, we rock, say our prayers, and go to bed.

We are down to just one feeding a night, and have been for a couple of weeks.  So we are going 4, 5, 6, and occasionally 7 hours between eating.  It all depends.  Last night was the first night he slept from 9:00pm to 5:00am, and it was great!  The only problem was I was awake at 11:00, 12:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, checking on him, and just waiting for him to wake up!  I am of course hopeful for tonight, but I am realizing that you know nothing of how things will really go down when there is a baby involved!!

We're excited about snow...

well, not really.  

i was pushing my luck with these pics right at nap time.

 "mom, just put the camera away, and rock me to sleep"

it's funny how different he looks with a hat and sleepy vs no hat and awake, this was taken the same day.

I am loving being snuggled in at home with this little fella.  

One month!

Little fella hit the one month mark this week!  Crazy how it seems like we have always had him and also like it has flown by.  We had several firsts this week...

We went on a trip to the farm to see Ma, just the two of us, and we did pretty well!  I still can't lift him and the car seat, so having to get him in and out of his seat in the car is a little more trouble just because I have to disturb him and then wrap him up and run.  However, monday was 60 degrees, so it was much easier!

Bryan and I had dinner out with our friend Matt friday night at Louie's...and we both couldn't get the check fast enough to get back home to our boy.

We've gone from going out to dinner on the weekend to staying home and watching movies while we cuddle little fella.  We have watched "The Help" the past two Saturday nights, it pretty much doesn't get any more exciting than that.

trip to the farm

Ma sat and held you during our entire visit...for almost an hour and a half..you made your little whimper noises and slept pretty much the whole visit.

We laid on the floor play mat.  He didn't care about the mat or the toys, but he hung out down there anyway!

We attempted to take some naps in our crib, our ultimate goal is for him to sleep there some day (ha!), so I thought getting to know it exists might be a good idea.

we are trying to make all the PT's (and OT's for that matter...) in our life proud by doing our tummy time several times a day.  he lifted his head up pretty well this week, and even managed to get it from one side to the other.  he doesn't cry during tummy time, but he does grunt and get a smidge fussy if i push it too long.

We also had our first official bath and he liked it!  

It took forever for our little belly button to be ready for a bath.  

 diaper and pajama duty!  

he's a big help when i put all the laundry on the bed to fold and put away...

A few things I've learned the past month:
1.  Baby's rock your world...
2.  Nothing prepares you for having one, even when you think you're ready :)
3.  We talk a lot about poops and pees and even celebrate them!
4.  Bryan and I have made a good team and probably learned more about our relationship this month than the past 3 years...
5.  waking up to little eyes and sweet little sounds is pretty much the best
6.  I'm still myself, but the focus of my day to day activities has completely shifted, a good shift, but it looks nothing like it did 2 months ago.  it's the new normal...
7.  people who bring meals to new parents are heaven sent...because as bryan says "you don't have time do anything with a baby"
8.  when i think about all the cleaning, life, etc I need to tackle, I keep thinking in the phrase from the youtube video "ain't nobody got time for that!"

The stats:
You are downing 3-4 ounce bottles around every 3 hours or so during the day, you have gone 4-5 hours at night and last night was a big night because you ate at 8:30pm, 2:30am, and then 6:30am...it was beautiful!  I am so, so, so thankful.  You are sleeping in a rock and sleeper by the bed, and sleep best if swaddled really well so you don't wake yourself up. You soothe really easily most of the time, and like your pacifier.  You will only use the one that we got at the hospital, and not really a big fan of any other kind.  You are really laid back and content most of the time just looking around, but if you do fuss stop pretty quickly as soon as we pick you up.

borrowed time...

i think daily about the sweet children i know around the world in orphanage cribs.  since having brooks, nightly, as i am holding him and making sure his tummy is full, his blankets are just right, the temperature is good, and he's comfortable and cozy, i see their faces, and think of all they have gone with out.  man, it makes my heart so sad...it always has, but definitely makes it ache in a new way now, in a momma way.  it's almost too much to take, tears fall quicker and last longer now.

so rather than feel like i am doing nothing, i will continue to pray and post again, and again about any of the kids i can.

here's the story for you....and i am pretty sure that every one who actually reads by blog already knows about this little guy, but in case some one else wanders by who doesn't..i had to share.  again.

this little boy was one of the first children i held in my arms on my first TEAMWorks trip to ukraine in 2010.  since then, we have watched him grow and change, and become stronger, take steps in a walker, sit contentedly in a chair, reach for toys, and make sounds.  i leaned over his chair and played patty-cake with him while i was there this summer, i held his hands and talked sweetly to him.  the clock has ticked towards that 5th birthday when his time in his baby orphanage would be up...i can't stand that we had to feel dread towards a little one's birthday.  by the grace of God, he has been given 6 more months in his orphanage.  6 more months for his family to find him, please join me in praying that a family will commit to bringing him home.  he's already on borrowed time, and I am SO thankful for God's protection over him.  he's prayed for and loved by many of us here and we are thankful God answered our prayers by protecting him from a move to an institution for another 6 months.

as abby says here, it really is a gift.  

Pray that God will find him a family and continue to protect this sweet little guy.

2 weeks!

(I haven't quite made it to ordering a baby book, so I'm typing all this out so I can remember it and record it later...)

We have made it to just over the 2 week mark, and little fella is doing really great.  He is such a good baby, and we are so, so, so thankful.  He cries if we aren't fast enough with the bottle, or if he stays awake too long and fights sleep a bit.  I have become a pretty good swaddler, and swaddle him up nice and snug at night, and he loves it and I love it because he sleeps longer.  We have ranged from waking up every 3 hours to going around 4 hours a few times between bottles.  Once I am upright at night, and feeding him I'm good, it's just the initial putting my feet onto the floor part that is hard.  It's definitely getting easier as I am feeling better, and getting to know our little man better.

looking around in the morning....

Our first week at home, I was definitely Captain Crazy, and turned into the "fretter" and "crier" here at our house.  We joked before baby B got here that Bryan would be the worrier, and I'd be the calm one.  Well, I am the one who felt like we were starving him the first week, then I was worried we were feeding him too much, I was worried about his teaspoon of spit up, how he latched onto the bottle, etc...  You name it, and I probably said "Oh, I hope (insert, something baby related here) is OK?!?"  We started with about an ounce in his bottle, and now at week 2, he is up to 3 ounces!  Bryan's line is "Amy, he's fine.."  Can I blame the hormones?

smiling after eating and snuggling 

I call him "Button" and bryan calls him a variety of things like "pumpkin, sugar, etc." and every now and then I call him by his actual name. :) He soaked his daddy last night for the first time, Bryan was holding him and then all the sudden his shirt was completely wet.  I had JUST handed him over to Bryan, so that was great timing on my part.

He's definitely a noisy baby, and makes all these sweet little whimpers and squeaks in his sleep.  He's jumpy to loud sounds and startles himself.  He's sleeping in a "rock and sleeper" next to the bed, and after the first week, I've actually dimmed the night light off and slept pretty well when he has.  We tried a bassinet, but he didn't do great in it, and I wasn't crazy about having him flat on his back while I was asleep, so the incline with the rock and sleeper has made me feel better.  I am letting him stretch out flat some during the day, along with some tummy time, and today we started reading books together.  He also, loves to get his arms loose from the blankets when he's not swaddled snuggly and throw them up by his face and head.  Every time you look over, he's snuck a hand out if possible and it's the first thing he does when I un-swaddle him at night.

picture that my sweet and talented friend Blanca took of button

When we went to his 1 week doctor's appointment and he was down from 8 lb, 3 oz, to 7 lbs, 5 oz, and I was stressing out!  However we went back at 2 weeks and he was in the upper 8 lbs range, so that made me feel much better, and our pediatrician's exact words were "don't worry another minute about his eating, he'll be fine..."  I get it people, momma needs to chill.  :)

i love his head of hair, and pet his head and forehead about a million times a day...

Bryan and I went out to eat at Mojito's Saturday night while Mamaw came over and watched him.  They did great, and we enjoyed some mexican food and a few hours out in this freezing cold weather.

i love baby feet...

Bryan is in charge of supplies, making bottles, and changing him.  He's better at diapers and changing his clothes than I am.  Much more efficient.  Bryan had never changed a diaper until he was born, so I think his new skills are very impressive!  He really is the best daddy, I can't say enough good things about him.  Once again, so thankful.

It's amazing how God blesses us with more than we knew to even ask for.  And that is definitely the case with my little family.

Baby B

Some pictures from our first 6 days with our new little button! 

Day 1

Proud Daddy!

Mamaw finally got her hands on him!

Day 2
Snuggle time with momma

being pretty awake!

Uncle Joe and little man

 Hadleigh June and Baby B

Day 3- Going home day!

Day 4!  

Day 5

 Grandad and Kay came to visit and hold you finally

 Day 6

We are SO SO SO thankful for a healthy little boy!  He's more than we could have imagined, and we are thanking God for him every day!