15 months old!

Brooks loves the funniest things.  Right now he still loves the remotes to the TV but also really loves the vacuum cleaner, pushing the recycle bins in the driveway, and putting laundry in the basket and in the washer/dryer (as long as he can push the buttons).  I call them his chores.  He's very active and keeps us on our toes at all times.  He nods "yes" a lot, says words when he wants to, and will occasionally imitate for us.  I will ask him to say things and he'll just look at me at smile.  He continues to love to go "bye-bye" and will go and beat on the door to the garage.  He also loves to be outside and look for birds and airplanes.  He smiles really big when the wind blows his hair and waves to all the cars that go by and says "bye-bye" to them.

He loves ring-around-the-rosie!


outside!


his friend the vacuum


and being on the move





















He really loves seeing other kids and being any where he can see everything going on around him.  On Friday, I helped for about an hour with Easter pictures and I put him in a high chair where he could watch, and he was very happy sitting there taking it all in.  He is really good at giving hugs and will occasionally lean in and kiss us back, but not often.  I kiss him all the time and he wiggles away, and will every now and then, when I am lucky, lean in and plant one on me.

And our TEAMWorks Easter pictures!  We love them!

 taking the bunny on a riiiiide

 poor bunny!

let's not do this again, ok?

Brooks started having a runny nose a couple of Thursdays ago, and by the next day, friday, it was a super runny nose, but not much more.  He hadn't been sleeping well all week, so we went to the pediatrician that Friday morning to check him out.  He had the beginnings of an ear infection, so we started ear drops for his tubes and went on our way.  Same song and dance.  The next morning, on Saturday he was a little irritable, but nothing major so Brooks and I headed to Fort Smith for Wyatt's 1st birthday party.  On the way down he slept for about thirty minutes and then woke up screaming and I had to pull over twice between Alma and Fort Smith, and he again, seemed irritable, but nothing major other than ear drainage…yuck.  We drove straight to a lunch date with my Granny, Papa, Dad, Kay and Debbie at Red Rooster in Fort Smith.  At lunch, I noticed he seemed to be breathing heavier, but just kept a good eye on him, and I wasn't really alarmed…yet.  We left lunch early because I could not make him happy and he definitely wouldn't eat anything.  We stopped at Walgreens' to get some more medicine and Kay rode with me so I didn't have to get him out of the car.  After getting to my dad's he was really breathing hard, I felt a bit of panic start to rise up, but calmed down and decided to try a couple of rounds in a steamy shower, and called Bryan.  Brooks cried the whole time, and I lifted up his shirt and saw what I was about to learn is called "retracted breathing".  The steamy shower did nothing and he was definitely getting worse, rather than better.  I handed him to Kay and walked to pack up our things, I hadn't announced it yet, but I knew we were headed to the doctor.  About the same time, she said "I don't want to be an alarmist, but we might need to go to the…." and I cut her off, and said "I'm packed."  After a few phone calls, and a couple of tears on my end, we decided to try a walk-in clinic, when we walked in, they sent a doctor up immediately to look at us, and he said "No, go to the ER."  We could almost see the hospital from this clinic, so I am not sure I even responded to him, I just turned around and went back out to the car, and told Grandad drive us over to the hospital.  In the parking lot, this group of people were blocking the driveway chatting, and it if I wouldn't have been holding my sweet baby in my arms, I would have jumped out of the car and moved them out of the road, I have no doubt I could have just tossed them at this point.  Note to everyone, hospital driveways aren't places to stop and chat.  By this point, I was very worried, and when we walked into the ER they took us right back.  His O2 levels were low as well as very elevated respiration rate.  We started doing some oxygen and wasn't long before we did our first breathing treatment, his activity level and mood improved some, but didn't help a ton right away with his other symptoms.  I knew he was feeling better when he started to smile at the nurses and try and rip the room apart.  We had an x-ray and RSV swab, and when things didn't improve enough, they admitted us.

we sent dada a little hospital selfie, we have some good oxygen flowing from the styrofoam cup.  momma here, needed a hit of oxygen as well, at this point.  they tried a nasal cannula for him…that lasted all of 60 seconds, he grabbed it with both hands, screamed, and ripped it off of his face, even with me trying to push his hands down.  determined.  

a cooperative breathing treatment.   these were the glory days before we decided we hated them.

The pediatric wing was apparently full, so they had to send us to the older pediatric area to the smallest hospital room I had ever seen.  We had several very sweet nurses and CNA's and met a fort smith pediatrician that took good care of us.  Around the time we got to a room, Bryan arrived.  My dad stayed with us the entire time at the hospital (and he hates hospitals) and was a great assistant.  Before the end of the evening, Joe and Liz, Kati, and my mom all came to check on little Brooksie boy.  They started him on steroids and antibiotics, and said for us to try and keep him calm.  Well, pump him up on steroids and breathing treatments…and calm wasn't really a possibility.  But, it was great, because I knew when he started being a monkey again, we were on the mend.  I probably mentioned that the room was ridiculously small, so I talked Bryan into going to my Dad's to sleep and letting me have night shift with my baby.  There was no way I was letting him more than a foot from me, so we spent a very interrupted night of sleep curled up in the constantly inflating hospital bed with him, and I loved every second of laying right beside him.  Sometime around midnight I felt like his breathing finally seemed easier.  I laid beside him in the dark and petted his sweaty head, and touched his face, and cried, and thanked God for him.  Sunday morning, my dad brought my Granny up to the hospital around 6:30 (my family are a group of early risers) and she helped me wrestle the boy until Bryan arrived around 9:00.  We spent the day trying to entertain brooks and get him to rest and cooperate with breathing treatments, the better he felt, the less cooperative he was.  bryan's mom came from searcy to help us with him for the next week, and when she arrived the told us he was NOT going back to daycare.  we have just been sickly since we started in August.  we said, we didn't want him to either, but we really didn't have another option.  long story short, he's not going back, and we appreciate her more than she will ever know!

our night time snuggles.  hard to see, but he's sleeping soundly, finally around 10:00pm

 morning and me breaking more rules by letting him play with my glasses.  

this pretty much sums up a night in a the hospital

breakfast, pancakes for all!

this cracks me up:

my boys, and dada looking nice for a day in the hospital, while I looked like an episode of 

"What Not to Wear"

granny and the monkey in his cage.  he loved running back and forth in it!

times got desperate.  we had to play in the hospital pan.

dada and uncle joe on duty.  

feeling better and a victory lap down the hall way!

Thankful the Lord teaches us lessons through every experience.  My heart is even more compassionate for parents with babies in hospitals.  Bless them.  

pitter patter - 14 months

we have little feet, moving all over this house.  i love, love, love hearing his little feet on the floor, especially in the mornings.  and at the same time, i get so nervous because he gets away from me, quickly!  in fact, today, he learned how to open his bedroom door.  we have it on video, he reaches up on his tippy toes and pulls the handle down, sticks his tiny fingers in the crack and steps backward.  he's SO proud of himself.  and now we're in big trouble.  the doors don't even stop him.  oh no!

he loves blueberry waffles, bananas, pears, apples, chicken strips, carrots, crackers, puffs, and yogurt (most days!).  he will eat peas and pasta, but it's not a favorite.  his favorite thing to say right now it "baby" and we have no idea why.  i call him baby, and sometimes he says "mama baby" and i crack up.  but he uses it to call us, to point to things, to protest, to comment.  it's really multipurpose, and sweet.  he sits and plays so well in the morning, and we usually sit and play with his farm and flip through books.  he likes to do things on his own, not really when asked.  he loves his bath time and has discovered laying on his back in the water and clapping.  i always want to remember the way he looks at this age with his arms out, running towards me to scoop him up.  it's my favorite moment of any day.

when i drop him off in the mornings at his little school, i literally drive away counting how many hours until we can pick him up.  it's still very hard for me, but we are doing it.  he does love other kids, so that is a great thing.

he is weighing in at around 23 lbs and 25th percentile in height and weight.  great at walking, tip-toeing, walking backwards and stepping over things.  he loves to explore and go all over the house.  he still loves the vacuum, buttons, and especially remotes.

we love looking out windows, and pressing our face to them!

paci and blankie, i wrap it around his shoulders so he doesn't trip over it.  he loves his blankie.

 early morning with these two fellas

First Birthday Party

Knowing this little boy is so much more than I could have ever imagined.  And 12 months flew by and there we were with the high chair, balloons and cake…and here is this sweet little boy who hid his face as a room full of people sang "Happy Birthday" while I held the cake.

I totally get you son.  I often want to put my head down when things are just too much!  As soon as the singing was done, he popped up and inspected the cake.  We let him touch it…and in his reserved fashion, he slowly warmed up to it, but waited for a spoon before he dug into it.  And in true Brooks form, as soon as he was use to the cake, he demolished it and then had a great time pushing the cake into the floor!

It was great to be surrounded by family and a few friends to celebrate our boy.

And probably the sweetest present that came walking up the sidewalk was carried in and made by Brooks' big cousin Riley.  He knew that Brooks was having a puppy birthday party, so he made him a doghouse, complete with his puppy that he "never ever sleeps with anymore."  Make this momma/aunt cry.  Riley assembled the whole thing by himself, his momma just helped a bit with the paint.

On the night you were born….

"On the night you were born the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked down to see you and the night wind whispered…life will never be the same."  

And well, life certainly hasn't been the same since the night you came to the world.  It's been better, harder, sweeter, funnier, scarier, and so much more.  I am in love with Nancy Tillman books, and that has been our favorite one this year.  I got you "I'd Know You Anywhere, My Love" for your birthday.  

I never typed the story of Brooks and his great entrance into the world.  I worked on this a couple of week ago and I am glad I have finally written it down:

I can't believe it's December again, I feel like it was just last December and I was enjoying all the fun of being 9 months pregnant.  Being pregnant and about to have a baby in December is so special.  It makes you think about Mary, Joseph, the donkey and baby Jesus…and the stable in a whole new way.

I never typed Brooks' birth story and I know with each year parts will become more faded in my mind so I wanted to write it all down.  I think right after he was born I was just too tired and focused on my sweet little bundle to do any documenting about anything other than him.  

How it started:

I had consistently measured a week or two ahead of schedule, but at my 36 week appointment I went in for my first official progress check and I was measuring 39 weeks and dilated to a 2.  The jump to 3 weeks ahead was a bit of a shock and this kick started me into a panic of thinking I was going to have a baby before Christmas.  I think I drove straight to work and started cleaning off my work area and prepping my detailed notes for each of my kids at work.  My friend Julie said "that's how it was with me and then I took forever to go into labor" and that's pretty much what happened with me.  Every week after that appointment I measured close to 40 weeks but I stopped progressing.  My doctor was a little concerned with his size and gave me the option of being induced at 39 1/2 weeks which landed on New Year's Eve.  At 9 months pregnant when they give you an option to get the show on the road..you take it!  (well, I do anyway)  

Night Before:

We had to check in on Sunday night at midnight to be induced that Monday morning.  My sister-in-law Elizabeth and my mom offered to make me dinner that Sunday night of any thing I wanted!  We had breakfast for dinner and I even managed to eat some of it, looking back I have no idea how I did that.  I can't eat when I'm nervous, but I stayed relatively calm.  I remember that evening well and I was wearing Bryan's red long sleeve thermal that he had given me because "it was too big for him" and my stretchy maternity jeans.  Everything just felt tight and I was ready to have my little bundle in my arms not in my stomach any more!  

Hospital:

We came home from my mom's and took our time getting our stuff together and showering/make-uping/hair fixing before we drove to the hospital at midnight.  It was REALLY cold and Bryan dropped me off at the door of the ER because that's the only door you can enter at midnight.  The guy at the ER desk said "we do NOT like pregnant people in the ER, let's get you up to labor and delivery" and he made me sit in a wheel chair and he wheeled me at approximately 100MPH to the labor and delivery floor.  I was feeling big anyway and the foot rest on the chair kept dragging the ground and scraping, not to mention it was a pretty ragged looking wheel chair and I felt like I might smash it to the ground.  I also felt a little like Violet from Willy Wonka being rolled to the juicer or something.  I kept kind of laughing because he was running me through the halls of Washington Regional like I was on fire.  Bryan had a hard time keeping up with us and he's a really fast walker, if that sets the scene for anyone who knows us.  

We checked in and a nurse got me set up in bed and hooked up to monitors and IV.  My IV was really uncomfortable but it eventually either stopped hurting or I was distracted by the contractions that were really rolling with the pitocin they started around 5:00AM.  The nurse did tell me that I went the longest of any one she'd ever seen before calling her to get up and use the restroom.  The truth was I had to go forever, but felt like it was such an ordeal to get unhooked to go, in hindsight, it's their job to help you so I should have just called her sooner.  

Monday morning my doctor came to check me and talk to me about the plan that day.  We had a nurse switch and Regina my soon to be nurse BFF came on duty.  Bryan prayed for us before the day started and I had good cry, and then I put on my game face.  The guy came to do my epidural and was wonderful and wanted to chit chat about Jonesboro and the 501, he and Bryan talked and I gave one word answers.  I wasn't in the mood for chatting, but I appreciate he tried to keep things light.  It was also really rainy and cold on that Monday and I remember looking out the window thinking how surreal it all was.  They kept upping my meds and by lunch time I was to a 5.  I am so thankful that I was comfortable and we had such sweet people to take care of Brooks and I.  I kept telling myself we'd have a baby before dinner…but I think some how I knew the whole time that it wasn't going down like.  Brooks was always very high and all day he kept kicking my ribs and I felt like that was where he wanted to stay.  

Around lunch I treated myself to a red popsicle and that was a mistake.  My doctor said she really wanted to deliver Brooks so they upped meds as much as they could with no change and I got a little sick to my stomach.  She checked me one last time before she left for the day and passed me to the next doctor on call.  Around dinner the new doctor checked me again and called my doctor who said we could keep trying but could possibly still be in the same spot hours from then.  At this point I was ready to just have baby boy out and safe, so we opted for a c-section after 12 hours with no more progress.  

Arrival:

They prepped me for a c-section and off we went.  I got sick to my stomach again on the ride over and the sweet nurse I had all day literally used her bare hands to catch throw up.  If I ever see her again, I will hug her.  Everyone we had was so great and my sweet and my wonderful doctor came back to the hospital to help deliver Brooks.  I didn't process for a couple of months that she came back on New Year's Eve to deliver him, which is so kind.  I was glad to see her familiar face and Brooks came into the world at 6:54PM (or 6:45 if you ask Bryan…there is debate) and weighed 8 lbs, 3 oz and was 20.5"long.  Doctor Hardman said "hey buddy, you are a big boy!" when we was born and I looked over at him and saw the head full of dark hair, which I wasn't expecting, and I loved.  

After a little recovering I got to snuggle my new baby boy and look him over.  It's fortunate and unfortunate all the meds you have with a c-section because it was all a little foggy until the next morning, but we took pictures and the grandparents held him.  I am sure it was late and my mom stayed with Brooks and I that night.  The next morning Bryan came back early and I had some of the most delicious food I felt like I had ever tasted, it had been awhile since dinner on Sunday evening and then we had a day of visitors and getting to know each other.  I still can't get over how undeserving we are of such a beautiful and sweet baby boy.

Tuesday night I asked Susan to stay with me at the hospital and she literally sat up all night long either watching Brooks or holding him.  It was a rougher night for us both, but the sun came up the next morning and we had another wonderful day to love our sweet baby.  

Home:

We stayed Monday night and Tuesday night and came home on Wednesday.  We got little guy dressed in an outfit give to us by his Uncle Chad and Aunt Elizabeth and he wore a hat and booties that Susu and Pa got him.  Dressing him seemed so hard because he was so tiny and I was just so sure I might hurt him.  Bryan drove us home and we walked in the door and had no idea what to do with him.  Bryan sat his car seat down in the entry way while we sat all of our stuff down (it was like moving) and I began my career as momma.  We took him into the living room and held him and then put him in the nap nanny and watched him and then held him some more.  I was a nervous wreck for weeks and had a whole new compassion to other new momma's out there.

One Day Old

One Year Old!

Being your momma is my favorite thing.