It's such a beautiful name and comes along with a beautiful story that only our God could author.
(the intro...)
The weeks leading up to Ukraine trip 2011 were busy. About two weeks before the trip Carmen walked into our room at work at and said something along the lines of "I am so sore, my lower back is really hurting..." and I said something back like "gettin' old's tough..." just giving her a hard time of course...b/c really she isn't old...and Carmen and I spend A LOT of time together and can joke around like that. A few days later still feeling sick, I said something like "better now that weeks from now...be sick and get over it...we have to travel across the world...work to do, kids to love on!" She agreed and we kept trucking. In the next few days she felt worse instead of better and we started discussing things like "what IF Carmen can't go..." She was miserable and could not get any answers on why! I told her top priority was her health and feeling better and we would figure out the rest. those were the words out of my mouth and I totally meant them, because I love my Carmen, but I will admit on the inside I was flipping out! when travel plans start unraveling...you can start feeling so discouraged.
the saturday before we left, i think i stood frozen at my niece's third birthday party on the back deck with tears falling out of my eyes because i was so worried about Carmen and the thought of the unknowns regarding the trip. i told my family she was sick, and at that very moment was unsure if she could travel. and in started the questions re: the trip.
Will you go anyway? Will you cancel? Will someone else go? You won't go with out another therapist? That doesn't sound good. etc.
And i really did/do understand their reasons for all the questions...they love me, and want to make sure i'm not running around eastern europe hollering "i'm from the you-nighted states y'all!!!" (this is a joke, but i really think maybe my dad and bryan thought this was a possibility...y'all!:) but it was almost more than i could take. i was trying to be brave and trusting of His plan, but i wasn't feeling brave at all. I prayed so hard for God to heal my friend and for us to leave together on the trip we both dreamed of doing. Working for 2 solid weeks in the orphanage that we left our hearts in the year before. Carmen has a strong LOVE for ukraine, orphans and those with special needs, why would God keep her from going?!
talks began on who would step in if Carmen could not travel. I am usually such an optimist but I was not that week. I was thinking, "yeah right...who is going to step up and travel to ukraine with 3 days notice?!?" You see, I can forget who is in control of every detail...He's got this under control..and knows better than I do. For sure. Kym said she was going to ask Abby..and honestly...I thought IF Abby could go I would be SO excited, but I thought to myself, or maybe even said out loud...I have talked to Abby...she won't go! She just got back from Guatemala...she has no plans of traveling to eastern europe. and then the next day i got news that Abby was IN for traveling to Ukraine with 3 whole days to get ready. i think her text said something like "i might have just squealed!" of course she was also heart broken for Carmen, but was jumping at the chance to return to Ukraine. apparently Abby had been praying that if someone couldn't go on the trip for what ever reason, she would be able to fill their spot. WOW. and i was thanking God for Abby. i knew she would be a perfect travel partner, and she was already one of my very favorite people.
(the trip...)
saturday morning bright and early i was the first one to arrive at XNA, and I was in a bit of shock...mostly because it was 4:00AM or something crazy. next rolled in Abby and then Matt and Ginny with Blanca. A few minutes in the line and we were standing, tickets in hand to head out!
i probably emailed carmen those first few days and said something like- "this would have been great for you and I, we would have done the best we could, we would have loved until we were exhausted, but having Abby here...and her knowledge and skills to work with the children's physical needs is SO important." in my mind, it was settled...carmen got sick, abby came...and we could better serve the children. i was so thankful for the blessings God had poured out on us and couldnt' have been happier to be there, serving and love along side beautiful and sweet abby. that's what I thought. but there is so much more.
a couple of weeks before the trip we had received an updated picture of a sweet little baby we had met in 2010. since the day we had left she had been in the exact same isolation room. the thoughts of the days and nights i had filled with who knows what since that trip-and her still sitting in the same spot made me sick. abby wrote on her blog that while we were there I asked the doctors if we could see Nastia, and I don't even remember asking, I just remember seeing her. i remember them bringing her into the gym that day and we tried our best to comfort her. but it was just too much- to be moved from her familiar environment and taken to a big room with strangers was just too much for the sweet little girl. the next day we approached her in a different way. We went to her room in isolation and gloved/masked up to work with her in the environment she would be the most comfortable. i remember standing behind Abby as she squatted by her crib and my insides were doing flips because i could barely stand the thought of knowing this is where she has been for 18 months since i had seen her last. abby was beside her crib smiling and talking to her through a huge mask on her face.
the little girl literally came alive before our very eyes. we sat her up in a bumbo seat and i did the silly thing while abby gently massaged her shoulders and assessed her physically. she had the sweetest smile and we soaked up the time with her. we also took a quick video that morning in which the first sound you hear is laughing and then abby saying "muh-muh-muh" to her. Very sweet and funny, because I am pretty sure that will be an important sound for her to call her momma by one of these days. once she was use to us we took her to the gym and had a totally different experience than our previous time in the gym. she enjoyed sitting up, the attention, and the toys, specifically the star stacker that played music. her smile will melt your heart. later in the afternoon we got to go back and see her again and take her to a room across the hall where the caregivers left just Abby and I to work with her. we took turns holding her and she loved the musical toys and rocked back and forth to the music while sitting her her bumbo seat. so cute and so encouraging. we pulled back the long white lace curtains and looked out the window. i remember saying something like, "hey sweet girl, that's outside, and there's lots to see in this big world..." and it was fall in ukraine, the sky was grey and it was chilly, the trees where beautiful oranges and yellows and leaves floated slowly to the ground. it was like something from a movie. holding a little girl, inside a giant place full of children that need families to love them...and just staring out the window to the beautiful world outside. a world that is only feet away-but might as well be a world away for many of these children.
(the amazing part....)
what i didn't know that afternoon was this: i was standing in a room with a mother and daughter. not the typical mother and daughter but the kind God plans and knows and is born in someone's heart. God. Only God
that afternoon or the next day, i can't remember which, we (meaning Abby talked, and I nodded) got into a lengthy discussion on why "nastia" should be moved to a room with other children. it was a quite the back and forth conversation. every reason abby gave, they had a reason they couldn't...the conversation was very respectful but intense. i think i added things here and there, but for the most part i sat and listened as abby advocated for this little girl. ultimately we wanted her to have a family, but in the mean time we wanted to have her in the best location for her development. what's funny is how strongly abby felt about getting her moved and what she needed...fighting for her like a mother would.
the next day we were told by olga that they had made the paperwork official to move "nastia" from isolation to the baby room and would like our help in the next week to get her moved. i felt a huge relief and wash of emotions and abby began to cry. once again, another moment where it was very clear that there was something very special between abby and the little blonde girl we loved.
the week ended and abby, matt and ginny left. i went back the next week with our TEAM and was excited to help facilitate the move from isolation to the baby group. unfortunately we got news that nastia had a high fever and could not be moved, and then news that she was in the hospital. i had text abby the news. we were so sad, our group stopped and prayed for her together while standing in the orphanage gym. praying for her health and that the move would take place in due time.
to wrap up the next several months after lots of praying, daniel and abby are adopting nastia and naming her Eva Claire.
so, the last time i saw little miss eva claire was the afternoon we spent in the room across the hall from her crib. she was happy and we snuggled her and loved her. and now the extremely beautiful part is she has a dad and mom fighting to get her home to fayetteville, arkansas. can you believe this story? i still have moments of complete disbelief and i am so thankful to know abby and daniel and watch this story unfold. i hope that when she is living just miles down the road from me, they'll let me come over on a chilly grey afternoon, when the yellow and orange leaves are falling slowly to the ground in fayetteville, arkansas and hold Eva Claire and look out the window at the beautiful world outside. the big beautiful world she will live in with her mom and dad.
Please pray for Eva Claire,
Abby and Daniel as they navigate this journey to
bring their beautiful gift home!
"Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of light with who there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17
